ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
