Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he puts the penis in happiness.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
