There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
