i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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