i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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