If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize