Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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