Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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