the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
