Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
