Me too!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
