I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
