This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
