i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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