I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
