well you can't waste a boner
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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