Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
