the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
