Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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