I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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