im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
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Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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