I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
