At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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