Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
