please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Randomize
