If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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