Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
