I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
