Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
