Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
