we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
