come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Welp...herpes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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