Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
