i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
