talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
