Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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