they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
