I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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