New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
