Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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