also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
