if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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