somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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