u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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