If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
