no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
