Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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