And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize