Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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