I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
