yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
