my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
