when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
