Pants 0. Shit 1.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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