Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
