how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
