.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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