addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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