Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
