I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
