Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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