All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I've blown a few things in my day
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize