we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
