even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
