But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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