Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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