Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
