just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
