I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.