So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all