im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal