just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.