you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing