From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends