you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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